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who I am and whom I love..

SEXUALITY AND GENDER

In terms of sexual orientation, you may identify as lesbian, gay, straight, queer, bisexual, heteroflexible, pansexual, asexual, demisexual or fluctuating/evolving. Your gender identity may be transgender FtM or MtF, agender, two-spirit, cross dresser, gender-fluid, intersex, genderqueer or cisgender

 

Accepting and affirming your sexual orientation emotional/romantic attractions or gender identity can sometimes be difficult living in a hetero-normative world. The journey of first exploring what that means to you, then possibly coming out to family and friends, can be a scary and lonely journey. It can be especially stressful when you feel the people in your life expect you to fit into their ideas of who you should be.

I believe we all have a longing to be real and authentic with who we are, and emotionally suffer when we ignore that longing. It's common to feel stuck between the stress of living in secrecy or thinking about coming out with people in your life that may not support you in your process. I support people as they explore themSelves with courage and self-compassion. 

In therapy, we'll start by discussing the point at which you started questioning your identity and attractions to others. I can support you as you explore any internalized judgments you may have about yourself, based on any previous religious or cultural beliefs that taught being gay, lesbian, gender-nonconforming, or cross-dressing is not 'normal'. I personally don't buy in to that belief, and my hope is that you won't either. I can also help you navigate how you want to invite others into your new understanding of self by 'coming out' to the people you know and love. 

I have worked with several individuals and couples who are part of a heterosexual relationship, and one partner realizes their sexual or relationship orientation is in conflict with their situation. Coming out as gay or transgender with your partner can upset the way you've lived together, creating anxiety for the person coming out, and the partner who feels scared of changes that are coming in the relationship. I can support both of you as you figure out what this all means to you personally and in your relationship.